November 18, 2015


Dear St.  Katharine of Siena School Families,

            Two weeks ago I attended the annual Speak Up! for our 7th & 8th grade students and parents . I left there wondering and hoping that every attendee had the positive experience that I had. The next day, a 7th grade student came to my office unsolicited to tell me said, "It was the best night of my life. "   I stopped wondering and thought that if Speak Up! did that for just one student, the night was worth it.

            Martie Bernicker,  the executive director of Speak Up was the featured speaker before the break out sessions. In her talk, she echoed many points that Sr. Pat Mc Cormack made when she spoke here to parents and students in October. The whole model of Speak Up! is for the adolescent or parent to speak freely expressing their concerns and fears in a judge free environment.   Think Planet Fitness - a judgement free zone.  Here are a few remarks that Martie Bernicker made that are important for all of us to think about:

                It is hard most times for adolescents to be honest about their struggles. Why? Because:
                                1. They don't want to disappoint their parents.
                                2. It is perceived as a sign of weakness.
                                3. They don't know a solution, or even worse , they don't see a solution to their                                          problem.
                                4. They can feel trapped, isolated, and think they are the only one that has this                                           an "issue." They feel alone. 

                     Adolescents at this age experience a range of emotions such as " I am not this or that ...
                     For example:
                                  1. " I am not the best ______________." (fill in the blank).  Such as "I am not                                              the best student, best athlete , most popular , best looking etc.
                                  2. What they do is not ( or never) good enough for their parents/teachers.
                                  3.  They are always being compared to /or judged. They can feel invisible.
                                        "You are not as smart as your sister ...."
                                  4. All they want to do is "fit in".
                                  5. Some adolescents are great at hiding their true feelings from adults.
                               
                        What is the answer to these adolescent issues for parents and educators?  One night at Speak Up! is not the sure cure for every relationship, but it is always a good start. What I can strongly encourage you to do as parents is try your best to maintain an open dialogue with your child.  As they mature, invite more dialogue and less preaching. Remember as they say at Speak Up!, equal dialogue does not mean equal decision making. As your children get older, your Parent Alarm Clock will go continue to go off.  That "alarm clock"ringing is fear for your child's physical, mental and emotional safety. Try to replace that fear with common sense, reasonable expectations, allowing realistic opportunities for your child to fail, and reasonable boundaries in areas like technology and curfews.  Parenting is not an exact science.  The best parenting and teaching maintains a balance of all the aforementioned with a heavy dose of unconditional love. I hope this helps you navigate the ever challenging times we face as parents.

Take care,

Bud

Martie Bernicker at the SKS /SCJN Speak Up Night held two Mondays ago at St Colman -John Neumann school. Just shy of 150  students and parents attended the night.  

Avery Buckley's grandfather came to the 1st grade to talk about being a veteran and serving in the military on Veteran's Day. You can see he dressed for the occasion. 

Our SKS Band performed for the our SKS Senior Luncheon Club on Veteran's Day playing a few patriotic songs. 

The First Grade Saints Presentation in church for All Saints Day is  a time honored tradition at our school. 

Our Faculty Staff Dragon Boat Festival Team, The SKS Waverunners,  performed admirably

in the annual Philadelphia Dragon Boat Festival. Yes that is chef & cheerleader, Mike Gavin  blowing the horn emphatically in the back! If you are interested in forming a St. Katharine of Siena Families DBF Team, please contact me at school. It is a wonderful experience .