Mr. T's Blog @ SKS

April 1, 2017

Dear St. Katharine of Siena Families,

A Parent Dialogue with Mr. T.

I had a conversation with a parent last week and here is a shortened version of the dialogue with permission from the parent.

SKS Parent: "Bud, you have four older children right? So when do you stop having to be "on" as a parents and when does it let up?"

Me: "Never."

SKS Parent: "But your kids are older right" Surely it's a bit easier now."

Me: "Well in many ways it is, but you really never stop worrying about your kids. And you still have a tendency to want "to do" for them and make sure they are okay and happy. As the saying goes:"As a parent, you are only as happy as your unhappiest kid. "

SKS Parent: "So what's the secret to all that?"

Me: "I can't really say I know the secret, cause in the end, I am just another parent like you trying to figure out what's best for our kids. But I have found it's always a balancing act between unconditional love, teaching self control & responsibility, consequences for actions (for good and bad decisions), mixed in with teaching values and character traits such as integrity, empathy/compassion, resilience, and acceptance of all people. And every child is different, so what works for one child doesn't necessarily work for the next."

SKS Parent: "How do you do all that ?"

Bud: "One day at a time, one child at a time, with the grace of God, both parents (guardians) being on the same page, having extended family and schools (The Village) that works in partnership with you , a good dose of patience, and a sense of humor."

SKS Parent: I feel like I am "on " my kids "all" the time hovering over them and driving them and me crazy."

Bud: "Hovering, nagging, helicoptering whatever you want to call it is not the answer. I have parents tell me they feel they do this a lot. You have to let go at some point. Let things fall on their shoulders. Give them chores. Let them fall; and get back up. So many parents today feel that they are fully responsible for their child's success . You aren't. You are there with your unconditional love to guide and support but not "do" for them.

SKS Parent: Sounds easy to say, but harder to do.

Bud: It is. It's tough to see your child struggle in any way: Spiritually, academically socially, mentally, emotionally, or physically and not "do" for them. In the end, like everything else, you do the very best you can. Kids aren't perfect and neither are parents. The sooner we realize that the better. Mistakes made by both them and us are learning experiences and opportunities for all of us to grow.

Here's a very good video that talks about parenting. It was shared with me by another educator I have great respect for. I think it's worth watching:

How to raise successful kids -- without over-parenting

https://www.ted.com/talks/julie_lythcott_haims_how_to_raise_successful_kids_without_over_parenting?

I hope the end of your Lenten Journey has given you an opportunity to look inside yourself. I hope you have had the chance to forgive and ask for forgiveness. I have taken time the past few weeks to remind our students how important it is to do these things as they went to confession last week. I also reminded them the importance of caring for others: Their parents, siblings, and classmates: Treating everyone with kindness and respect and when we do not, fences need to be mended. Lastly, I reminded them continually to worship and pray together as a family by getting to Mass each weekend.

Below is a picture of our Academic Scholarship winners for this school year. The students received scholarships based on their academics achievements in entrance testing, transcripts, and character. Several students received multiple scholarships. While the number of scholarships we receive doesn't define us as school, it is a proud moment for us to see so many students achieve academic excellence. Congratulations to these students and their families.

Finally, I wish to announce that I will be leaving my position as principal of this school at the end of the school year in June . What a distinct pleasure it has been to serve this special community through the years In light of Jay Wright 's moving on to coach the newly formed NBA franchise in Hawaii , The Maui Maulers, I have accepted the head coaching basketball position at my alma mater, Villanova University. I believe this is good opportunity for me, especially today on April 1, otherwise known as April Fool's Day. Did I getcha?

Take care,

Bud

St. Katharine of Siena Academic Scholarship Winners

From left to right: Annie Gleason, Cecelia Gallagher, Matthew Bradley, Kaitlyn May, Ian Rossi, Cookie Quirk, Isabel Oliver, Hailey Nord, Maddie Schultz, and T.J. Curvan, Missing from this photo and shown below is John McCormick. Congratulations to these students on their wonderful accomplishments.